The natural beauty of change in counselling: the power of being heard
When you hear the word “change” in the context of counselling, how does it make you feel? Does it feel pressuresome? Do you picture a therapist with a checklist, ready to mould you into a brand-new person, ticking off boxes as you morph into their vision of who you should be? Please let me reassure you, that is not how therapy works!
Carl Rogers, a giant in the world of counselling, once said something that beautifully captures the essence of therapeutic change:
“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, 'Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.' I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”
The change we see in counselling isn’t about the therapist steering you towards what they think is the right path for you. It’s about something much simpler, yet profoundly impactful: being heard and validated.
In counselling you’re accepted just as you are. Your thoughts, your feelings, your fears, and your dreams. In this space, there’s no pressure to be anything other than what you are at this moment. Sounds relieving, doesn’t it? This is the foundation of the therapeutic journey. It’s about creating an environment where you feel safe enough to unpack the weight you’ve been carrying, maybe for a long time.
When you’re truly heard, something incredible happens. The simple act of sharing your story, of having someone bear witness to your experiences without judgment, can lighten your load. It’s as if you’ve been carrying a backpack filled with stones, and each session allows you to take a few out. Over time, you start to stand a little taller, breathe a little easier. This is the kind of change that sneaks up on you. It’s not forced; it’s natural. It comes from a place of understanding and acceptance.
This newfound lightness, this space you’ve created by being heard, often leads to something else: a spark of confidence, a glimmer of regained optimism. It’s from this space that many find themselves wanting to make positive changes in their lives. Not because they feel they have to in order to be accepted, but because they want to for themselves.
And here’s where the role of a counsellor becomes even more meaningful. As you decide to make these changes, whatever they may be, you won’t be alone. Beside you is someone who’s got your back, supporting and encouraging you, cheering for your victories, and offering a hand to hold when the going gets tough. This support doesn’t come with conditions or expectations. It’s given unconditionally, celebrating your autonomy and honouring your pace.
So, if you’re contemplating counselling, know this: it’s not about changing into someone else’s version of who you should be. It’s about being accepted for who you are now, and then, if and when you’re ready, exploring how you can grow in ways that resonate with you. The journey of change, big or small, is yours to define. And in the therapeutic relationship, you’ll find a partnership that respects your lead, supports your steps, and believes in your potential. It is my greatest joy and privilege as a counsellor to witness the natural beauty of change in counselling; each person’s journey is as wonderful and unique as a sunset.